Wrap-up January, February & March 2019 / April TBR (I’m back)

Hi everyone, long time no see! For a while now I have been missing this blog and the daily routine of blogging I love so much. I had to give everything a break because for the first 7 weeks of this term I hit some really low moods that seemed to be triggered by small things that made no sense to me then and still kind of make no sense to me now, one of the triggers being going online and blogging believe it or not.

I won’t dwell on negatives too much but the weeks during January and February have been awful as I had a kind of sadness deep within that just kept coming to the surface when I was in college. My support workers and I have determined that it was because my main tutor was off sick for so long due to fibromyalgia which is something even after looking up I don’t quite understand but I do know it sounds pretty nasty. As I am autistic I rely a lot on structures and routines so when the whole structure of my college class was disrupted and for so long, these low moods just kept surfacing. To be honest the college handled our tutors absence quite poorly and we had no proper lessons for those first 7 weeks of term, we just had any other tutor from any other department that was free come in and tell us to just get on with coursework. I had these low moods for a long time where I came home from college crying and broke down in college crying more than once then having to go home. The whole class also struggled with our tutors absence and attendance dropped but at the same time nothing could really be done about the situation :/

There are some positives that came out of this though, one being that I learned how to ride the public bus home from college all by myself which sounds real babyish, but I have always struggled with confidence, independence, leaving my comfort zone and doing stuff alone so this was quite empowering for me in itself. There was also the three night boat trip to Amsterdam that my parents and I took in February half term break which was really enjoyable but a disaster for my diet lol 😛

Since I was last on this site I have also passed two advanced ECDL (European Computer Driving Licence) exams in PowerPoint and Excel which was also empowering and I have also made more enquiries about the part-time librarian course I so want to do next academic year. Next week I will be doing my first ever work experience in the college library for the whole week as it is part of the course I’m on to do some sort of work experience for at least a week before the Easter holidays. This will be perfect for getting experience for next years course 😀

happy joy GIF by SpongeBob SquarePants

Our tutor says she’ll hopefully be in for the rest of the year now, all my class hopes so as we have work to do we need help with before the course finishes. In this time I have also struggled with controlling food cravings so have not really lost any weight at slimming world. My parents, support workers and those around me have been very supportive in helping me through this tough time and one of my support workers wondered if it was due to the lack of light in the winter (there was a news report around where I live saying this winter was one of the darkest in a long time) that contributed to feeling down. She told me some people can be affected by the seasons when it comes to moods even though those past months have been the worst I’ve had in a long time…. Hopefully the lighter days and the carrying on with work in college can help in moving forward. Throughout all the time I’ve taken this break I was hoping I could have gotten through a lot of books especially the thick ones but it turns out I only managed 10 in all this time…

Zero KCrimson BoundAfter the End (After the End, #1)Faith of the Fallen (Sword of Truth, #6)Six of Crows (Six of Crows, #1)A Game of Thrones (A Song of Ice and Fire #1)Debt of Bones (Sword of Truth, #0.5)Priestess of the White (Age of the Five, #1)Idlewild (Idlewild, #1)Deadly Hemlock (Hemlock #1)

  1. Zero K by Don DeLillo
  2. Crimson Bound by Rosamund Hodge
  3. After the End by Amy Plum
  4. Faith of the Fallen by Terry Goodkind
  5. Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo
  6. A Game of Thrones by George R.R. Martin
  7. Debt of Bones by Terry Goodkind
  8. Priestess of the Whit by Trudi Canavan
  9. Idlewild by Nick Sagan
  10. Deadly Hemlock by Kathleen Peacock

A mixed variety of good and bad reads these past few months. If I had to pick a favourite I’d say it would have to be A Game of Thrones as everything about that book just sucked me right in from the world to the characters. I have the second book out from the library and as always need to find the time for it as I have just been adding and adding to my TBR these months 😛 Late last year, my support workers and I wrote an actual chart for 20 books from my library and college library TBR and I was supposes to finish them all before ordering or taking out any more… that commitment didn’t last too long…

bad dog oops GIF by chuber channel

Anyway, I am close to finishing all the books on that chart so soon we’ll wipe them off and write a new list! The worst book I have read this year has to be Idlewild which was such a disappointment because it was marketed as a matrix style Sci-Fi which all those close to me know I love anything that makes one think deep. It turned out to be poorly written and uninteresting which makes me glad now that I didn’t order the sequels. Terry Goodkind’s books were also really enjoyable with Six of Crows also being an exciting read especially since I wasn’t expecting much from this author due to the boredom I felt reading the Grisha trilogy. Zero K as I have said before had to be one of the most weirdest, mixed opinion books I have come across in a while. I wrote a review for it but I can’t help saying here that the ideas and the themes explored in it were brilliant and did make me think, it was just executed in a strange way. I’ll also add that I think that book also didn’t help with my low moods I felt in winter because despite the good qualities the writing and characters were miserable as fuck. I’m still glad I read it though 🙂


April TBR

Outlander (Outlander, #1)Clockwork Princess (The Infernal Devices, #3)Pawn (The Blackcoat Rebellion, #1)The Disappeared (The Disappeared #1)Brave New WorldFahrenheit 451

  1. Outlander by Diana Gabaldon
  2. Clockwork Princess by Cassandra Clare
  3. Pawn by Aimee Carter
  4. The Disappeared by C.J. Harper
  5. Brave New World by Aldous Huxley
  6. Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury

I hope to actually get these books finished this month especially with the two-week Easter holidays coming up. Outlander has been sitting around on my TBR since summer last year so for a long time the time has been right to read it. The Disappeared and Pawn are both books I recently ordered that the library have told me there are requests on them from other people. I’ve only had them out a short time but the lady in the library has kindly renewed all me books to the end of May so that should be enough time even though I know time tends to just fly by.. Brave New World and Fahrenheit 451 are college library books that like all the rest need to read and returned as there are a lot of books from the college library I want to read before my course finishes. At the beginning of this year I remember one of my bookish resolutions being that I’d try to finish off as many previously started series rather than starting new ones but I guess all these brand new copies in the library were just too tempting 😛

beer oc GIF

Once I get my TBR down I totally swear I’ll try to keep to my goals 😉 So all in all I hope to get the most of the last weeks of this course I’m on as this is my last course where I’ll be in full-time education as the librarian course I hope to go on next year will be part-time and based in the workplace. My support workers have said the key is remembering what I’m grateful for and all the friends I’ve got in college and of course all the books my library has! While the beginning of this year wasn’t the best and a lot of water has passed under the bridge since I was last on this site, it feels good to be back and I hope all who have viewed this site in the past have been keeping well, hopefully starting the year better than I did and now I guess I’ll be looking at what I’ve missed so far on the blogosphere 🙂

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